


Behind Closed Doors

by SalemDae_45



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Oz (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crossover, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Incest, Love Triangle, M/M, Obsession
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-22
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2017-10-26 10:52:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/282222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalemDae_45/pseuds/SalemDae_45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>They were brothers, but at times, they were more than that. Then it went to hell.</i></p><p>Elliot’s love for his brother is a battle between love and obsession.  Chris and Elliot have a bond that extends eternality but it comes with a price.  A price not even they saw coming, but a price that could break them or bring them closer together.</p><p>Originally published under Aleanor Black @ livejournal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
**~I~**   


 

“Where you’re going tonight?” Elliot asked, while lying on the bed. He watched his twin wrapping the towel around his waist.

Chris shrugged.

“Don’t know. Maybe I go to the club, hangout for a while. I might get shitface or find a suitable fuck buddy.”

“Reckless behavioral as usual.” Elliot propped himself on his elbows. His eyes trailed from the sharp profile of his face to his lean, muscular arms and chest, admiring every detail of his brother’s body. He licked his lips subconsciously.

“I enjoy it. You’re just jealous.” He teased, spraying the cheap cologne on his chest.

“Jealous?”

“Yea, because I’m havin’ fun while you have to go back home to your wife and kids.” He rubbed one side of his face before pulling out his razor from the cabernet.

“It’s called growing up.”

“It’s called bein’ trapped in a shotgun marriage.”

Elliot sat up and glared at him.

“I married Kathy for love, not because of some ‘shotgun marriage’.” Elliot could feel his blood boiling. When it comes to his family and children, they were off limits. He thought Keller knew that.

Chris laughed, showing off his white teeth.

“Keep tellin’ yourself that, El.”

Before he could spread the form across his face, Elliot pushed him against the wall. The can of foam and razor fell on the floor with a thump. The sharp nails pieced Chris’ shoulder blade as he felt the hot breath against his neck and lips. Chris couldn’t help but flash a toothy smile, how Elliot’s anger illumined from his body and the way his eyes turned from gentle baby blue to predatorily dark. He should piss Elliot off more often.

“I love Kathy and I’m glad I haven’t been through three divorces.” He hissed, hoping it left a sting on Chris’ ego. Then again, this was Chris Keller who hardly let anything affect him.

Keller forgot to mention how he liked the deep, husky voice Elliot used when he was pissed. It caused his cock to stir just hearing his deep, vengeful voice.

“Then why are you here? I know I have problems keepin’ my dick in my pants, but at least I know how I feel about my life. Unlike some people…” His eyes lowered while his hand cupped Stabler’s crotch. He smirked seeing a different shade of red exploding on his brother’s face.

Elliot released his grip on Chris and turned his back. He gripped the sink and looked down. He shook his head, gathering his thoughts, keeping his cool. Why did he allow Chris’s words to affect him? He loved his life, every part of it, including his brother. He jerked when Chris touched his shoulder.

“Okay, I was out of line. You love Kathy and I shouldn’t—” Chris felt his brother’s lips on his own.

Elliot pushed him on the bed. He roughly took off Chris’ towel, and throw it somewhere in the room.

Chris propped his elbows, watching his brother quickly taking off his buttoned shirt and pants. He licked his lips, the build muscles framing his form. They were the same, every part, but different in many ways. He tilted his head back as Elliot straddled him. They shared a lustful kiss: tugging, nibbling until it became bruised. Chris liked this Elliot, the forceful animal who let go of his control. Chris was always dominant in his other relationships, but when it comes to his younger brother, he was glad to hand it over. It was a privilege, actually, to have Elliot touch him in places he thought didn’t exist. He finally had the chance to let someone lead while he followed or watched.

Chris groaned, stretching his neck for Elliot to possess, claiming it as his own. In a symbolic way, Chris belonged to him, to his Elliot, his other half. He thrust his hips upward, grinding his hard cock against Elliot’s. He wanted to feel his brother on him, knowing this wasn’t some drunken illusion.

Elliot held his hip, mirroring his movement. Interchangeably, he sucked and bit Chris’ neck while his hands caressed from his hips to his inner thigh. He groaned against his skin, feeling his older brother gripping his ass, pushing him closer to his cock. He continued his thrusts, creating a hypnotic friction which made him see white. It felt good, feeling his brother cock against his own, touching his wet skin, watching his face twist in passion; he was in pure bliss.

He sucked on his collarbone, trailing small kisses down his chest. He knew he was about to come as he moved frantically against him.

Chris wrapped his legs around him—moaning—gripping Elliot’s short, chopped hair.

“Oh…God…damn it little brother…shit…just fuck me!” He moved his hips, joining Elliot’s pace.

Elliot bit his nipple, running his fingers down his chest. Elliot didn’t want it to end. One more minute was all he wanted. He squeezed his eyes closed and arched his back. He pressed his head in the crock of his neck, inhaling his musky scent. He moaned. His body shivered as he finally came.

Chris came several seconds later, stitching Elliot’s skin in the process. He lay still, planting small kisses on the side of his face. Chris held Elliot. He ran his fingers down his back while looking at the ceiling. They fight and fuck, it seem like that’s all they do. They were not like any other siblings, not from a long shot. But he rather have a close brother than a distant one.

If anyone can call their relationship ‘close’.

Elliot rolled unto his stomach. He finally went down from his high and looked at the plain, pale blue towel on the floor. Kathy gave Chris the towel set after he was release from prison for the third time. Chris promise to make a clean start, but Elliot doubt it. Yet, he still hoped he would stay out of trouble. If he couldn’t do it for himself, at least do it for him.

He felt the bed shake as Chris crawled to get his pack of cigarettes from the nightstand. He sat on the edge of the bed and lit one. The smoke framed his face, making him appear like one of those detectives from a film noir. Chris handed the pack to Elliot who rejected it.

“Suit yourself.”

Elliot tried not to think more into their encounter. He hated to admit his growing attraction to Chris. He loved the thrill, the passion, and the sexual tension they shared. He wanted more from Chris, like a commitment despite how sick and selfish it sounded.

Then again, what he felt for his brother was sick and selfish.

It was a sin that God would condemn, but he loved it. He wanted it and even embraced it. He wasn’t about to let it go and that made him an egotistic, lunatic bastard.

He felt Chris’s chest near his side. He sighed, feeling Chris hot breath on his neck. Chris wrapped his arm around his shoulder. God, he loved it. It was sick but he craved the sickness.

“I…”

“It’s fine, Chris. Let’s not talk about it. Okay.” He looked at him, seeing the frown on his thin lips.

Chris nodded. He understood.

“You’re still going out tonight?”

Chris shrugged, pulling him closer.

“Are you going home tonight?”

Elliot sighed sadly, rising from the bed. He sat on the edge. Chris joined him a few seconds later, wrapping his arm around his chest while his legs wrapped around his waist. Elliot melted into his embrace. They were beyond close.

“I have to.” The disappointment evident in his voice. When it comes to Chris, he couldn’t hide shit and it fucking killed him inside. He could hide anything from Liv, Kathy, and Cragen, but not Chris, his own flesh and blood.

“Gotta do what you gotta do.” He kissed Elliot’s neck before he looked at Elliot’s inner thigh. He grinned. “The same tat I have on my thigh. Are you trying to copy me?”

“You got after I told you about it, you bastard.” He laughed while looking at the small butterfly tattoo; every detail was precise, a replica of his brother and a sign of his devotion. He did copy Chris but only to have one piece of him close by. He was obsessed but it was better than using drugs or drinking liquor.

“That’s what you think.” Chris pushed him back on the bed and sat on his lap. He kissed him, slowly and intimately, just the way Elliot liked it.

It was wrong, but damn it, it felt good.


	2. Chapter 2

**~ II ~**

“Elliot, I was worried about you! I tried calling you on your cellphone but you didn’t pick up. I called Chris and he claimed he hasn’t seen you all day. What happened to you?” Kathy asked him at the door. The tired expression on her face and the black circles around her eyes didn’t make the situation any better.

“I had to finish this case, so I slept at the station. I’m sorry for not calling you.” He lied.

Kathy sighed as she folded her arms.

“Next time, please call and let me know you’re okay.”

Elliot nodded.

A small smile appeared on Kathy’s face as she allowed Elliot to enter the house.

“Come on, breakfast is on the table.” Kathy placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

Elliot frowned when she entered the kitchen. He didn’t know if he should wipe it from his lips or simply ignore it. It didn’t feel quite right to him, as if something was missing. He touched his lips and exhaled. How long would it be before Kathy find out about his affair with his own brother? He tried his best to keep it a secret. He made his excuses more plausible and covered his tracks whenever he “stayed at work for three or more days.” He couldn’t stop the attraction he has for his older brother. It was strange, alluring…

And sick.

It was also a sin that can cause his soul to burn for all eternality. It was wrong on many levels, but, to Elliot, it felt natural. He wanted it and no one could stop him from acting on his impulse.

They were brothers: born from the same womb but lived separate lives. Their father didn’t want seven kids and Chris was put up for adoption. Elliot knew how his father felt and believed his mother was indifferent to the decision since she lived in her own world. His father had the family he can control and despite Kathy’s pregnancy, Elliot was glad to leave the household.

Yet, somehow he knew something was missing. It came in the form of his twin. Chris looked like him: the same light blue eyes, protrude noise, and hard muscles. He came with a past, a dark one, but Elliot still loved him. He brought him into his organized life without a second thought. They bumped heads, shared a few harsh words, and blamed the other for their own private hell but they always came back together. They had a bond stronger than anything in their lives. It even turned into an obsession; to have Chris all to himself and not willingly to share him with no one. Elliot didn’t mean to cross that line but he cared deeply for his other half.

Elliot laughed. _My other half._ He should say his other spouse. Chris Keller, his blood brother and husband, as strange as it sound it was an accurate description of their relationship.

He joined his family at the table. Maureen, his eldest daughter, was in college. He sighed, the table felt empty in the small room. His youngest kids, Dickie and Lizzie, ran to him and hugged him by his legs as he tried to take his seat. He smiled, though. Kathleen, his second eldest, tried to ignore the sudden change but a smile appeared on her face too. He loved all his children. They were his heart and he didn’t know what he would do without them.

His two youngest released him so he could finally take his seat near Kathleen. As he tried to concentrate on his breakfast, he listened to Dickie talk about his project for English class and how this little girl in the front roll was bugging him again. He poked at the scrambled eggs before looking at Kathy.

She smiled at him which struck a nerve. She was the one woman who stood by him during those dark days. She helped him built their home and gave him the inner strength to carry though the rough times. He owed her his life and would do anything to keep her happy. It was why he hid the true nature of his relationship with Chris. He loved Kathy—with all his heart—but not as much as Chris. He has two loves which was tearing him apart inside. The fact he’s sleeping with his brother behind his wife’s back was wrong. He was hurting Kathy and he didn’t want to cause her anymore pain. But he loved Chris and need him in his life.

“Elliot? Are you listening?”

Elliot snapped out of his thoughts and noticed Kathy staring at him.

“I’m sorry. What did you say?”

All three of his kids giggled as Kathy shook her head.

“Elizabeth’s dance performance is this Friday. Are you still coming? You can invite Chris—”

“Yea Daddy! Invite Uncle Chris! Tell him to bring some of those cookies like last time!”

“Elizabeth, you had enough sweets for this week.” Kathy’s stern voice caught the kids’ attention.

“But they were sooooooo good, Mommy,” Elizabeth whined.

“Can you convince Uncle Chris still?” Dickie asked Elliot, believing he can have all the cookies to himself.

“Neither one of you are getting anymore sweets.”

The twins continued to moan as Elliot thought about Kathy’s question. Chris and him in the same room for two hours or more? He wasn’t sure if he could survive a five minute event without touching him, but they were usually careful, making sure no one saw their subtle exchange. He knew it was important for his children to have their close uncle to be there. Elliot knew it was equally important to have a normal, functional family. As much as he loved Chris, he couldn’t…he can’t ask him despite not having the ability to say no to him.

“Sure, Kath,” he finally answered.

The sour expression on her face made Elliot quirked a brow.

“See Mom, Dad thinks Uncle Chris should bring those cookies.” Kathleen smirked.

Elliot smiled sheepishly. He wanted some of those cookies too.

 

**~o~O~o~**

 

“Uhmm…Kathy invited you to come to Lizzie’s performance this Friday…” Elliot sucked in his breath, feeling Chris entered him. Why the fuck did he asked him? Oh yea, he wanted some of his cookies.

Chris moved slowly inside him, gripping his hips still. He smirked.

“Really? I would love to come. What time does it start?” He bowed his head, quicken his pace.

Elliot’s eyes rolled to the back of his head. He groaned, gripping the headboard. How the hell can he concentrate when Chris’ cock hitting his core felt fucking good? He inhaled, wrapping his legs around Chris’ narrow hips.

“Eight. I’ll ask Cragen to let me…oh fuck…me off early…shit Chris.” Elliot cried, his hard cock lying on his stomach, pre-cum oozing from it.

Chris jerked him off while thrusting inside him harder. He grinned, trailing his tongue along his brother’s lips. His brother, on his back, face flushed in pleasure: it turned him on even more.

He loved every minute.

“Yea…I should tell Bonnie I had a change of…fuck…of…plans.” He sucked on Elliot’s lower lip; bring his ass closer to his cock.

Elliot’s eyes widen. He pushed Chris off of him and got out of the bed. _It was a fucking bad idea to tell him._

Chris tried to pull him back on the bed but Elliot jerked away. He searched for his pants in the dark room.

“What’s da fuck da matter with you all of sudden? Is it because I’m talkin’ to my ex again?” Chris voice was like venom to Elliot’s ears.

He quickly put on his pants and shoes. He wasn’t about to become number two in Chris’s life. No one deserved to touch him, mark his skin, and fuck his brains out but him. Chris was his possessions not that bitch. Then again, why was Elliot pissed? He should be happy for him. They no longer have to keep doing it. He can be free from the sickness but some part of Elliot wanted the sickness.

“Elliot…”

“What?” He snapped. His heart skipped a beat when he saw his brother’s face soften. The guilt hit him all at once.

“Bonnie will not replace you. I love you…”

Elliot put on his shirt.

Chris growled. He gripped Elliot’s face and forced him to look at him.

“It’s true and you damn well know it. I will die for you, do you understand that?”

“We can’t do this,” Elliot whispered and pulled away. He grabbed his coat from the chair and walked to the door.

“Why? Because I’m seein’ my ex again or because you’re afraid?” Chris asked.

Elliot froze. His hand hovered over the doorknob. He could sense Chris smirking, laying on his back with his arms behind his head. He can even feel Chris’s eyes burning the back of his skull which made his blood boiled. He wasn’t sure if he was right but he knew Chris from the inside out. He knew how he tick which amazed and scared him. Elliot tried to remain focus but his mind kept going back to Chris.

“That’s what it is. You’re afraid about what’s between us, what we share. You want to deny it but can’t. It’s not about fuckin’ anymore, isn’t Elliot?”

Elliot shivered as Chris purred his name. Only he could make his name sound exotic, foreign. Damn, he was going to hell for it.

“It’s more than that, baby. You want me and it’s killin’ you inside. I was like that too until I realize I’m goin’ to hell either way.”

“You’re not going to hell—”

“Oh really?” Chris mocked, the grin plastered on his face, “What we have is a sin, El. We are both going to burn so why not enjoy it. I know we can’t have a ‘normal’ life together but we can try. I won’t take you away from your wife. I rather play the supportive uncle while behind closed doors I’m lying on my back…”

“Shut up.”

“…and you’re fucking me, hard. Making me scream like a bitch…”

“Chris, shut the fuck up. It’s not about…” Elliot stopped. His face turned apple red while his hands trembled. Why can’t he have his way? It was wrong and God proving it to them. He needed to stay away from him before he does something stupid. Bonnie can have him, all of him. He didn’t want pieces of him, not for a damn second. He wasn’t about to be second.

“I gotta go,” Elliot said, gaining some of his self-control. He opened the door, about to leave the bedroom when Chris’s voice made his blood cold.

“You can’t escape me, older brother. I’ll see you Friday.”

Elliot didn’t look back as he shut the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**~ III ~**

 

Elliot hadn’t spoken to Chris since their “argument.” Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday had passed and Elliot was about to lose his mind.  No phone call or even a visit from his younger brother.  It didn’t matter how big or small the argument, after two days of distant; they will always come back together.  After all, Elliot couldn’t stand being away from Chris for a good amount of time.  Maybe it was the brother’s intention or he finally went insane, but he loved him.  Chris was his, no matter how much he got under his skin.

 

Kathy suggested he should call him. Be the bigger man between them.  It wasn’t that simple.  One smirk can end the conversation and Elliot will find himself lying on his back and have Chris inside him.  It was how their little game worked the moment they laid eyes upon each other.  There were no polite jesters or neutral understandings; it was a knock on the door and a night long fuck. 

 

Friday came and Elliot guessed Chris wasn’t about to show up.  Some part of him—most part of him—wanted him to come.  Not for his daughter’s sake but for _his_ sake.  He wanted Chris to sit beside him, in complete silence, and take in the essence of him.  To share an intense connection without saying any word.  A connection that only they know and no one, not even his wife or Chris’ girlfriend, will detect.

 

Elliot was selfish, thinking Chris will place him above his own daughter, but he wanted it.  He needed him.  Perhaps Chris didn’t need him in return. 

 

Elliot left work an hour early. He nearly wanted to crash his car into the car ahead of him.  He forgot about rush hour. 

 

He loosened his tie as he gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white as ash.  New York’s traffic on a Friday evening was a bitch and it took him forty minutes to make it to Lizzie’s school on the other side of Queens. 

 

He growled.  He knew for certain he was nominated for “Worst Father of the Year” award.  If that didn’t earn him one than he didn’t know what did. 

 

He got out of the car and quickly made it inside the building.  He almost missed the auditorium until he heard clapping.  He sighed. 

 

 _I need a break from work._ Elliot opened the door slightly and quietly—or quiet as possible—went inside the large, two hundred and plus seated room.  He walked down the row of seats, hoping to find Kathy and his kids.  Few more seats down and he saw Kathy’s short blonde hair hanging just at her collar.  He smiled until…

 

 _Shit._

His heart pounded against his chest as the shock ran up his spine.  _He_ sat a seat away from Elliot’s wife while his arm wrapped around the other woman.  His blood turned cold as the frown stayed plastered on his face.  The thoughts and worries about his brother not coming disappeared as he kept his eyes on them.  Chris was right, he did bring Bonnie and Elliot already felt like raising hell.

 

Chris was his possession.

 

He tapped Kathy by the shoulder.  She looked at him and frowned while Dickie squealed in delight about seeing his father.  It took a stern look from Maureen to get him keep quiet and settle down.  Kathleen seemed indifferent but he knew she was glad to see him too. 

 

As for Elliot, he tried not to meet his brother’s stare.

 

“Elliot, where were you?” Kathy whispered as Elliot sat beside her.

 

“Traffic,” He answered. 

 

“I know what you mean.  We were almost late coming here.” She forwarded her hand toward Elliot. “Bonnie.”

“Elliot.  Nice to finally meet you.  I heard a lot about you,” He shook her hand as he flashed a Chris-que smile.

 

Chris glared at him without Bonnie noticing. 

 

It made Elliot grin more.

 

Bonnie chuckled, “He did? I would never think I’ll see the day Chris talked about me.  I guess there a lot of things I still don’t know about him.”

 

“What can I say? I’m full of secrets, baby.” Chris grinned, yet his eyes continued to burn Elliot’s skin.

 

Elliot laughed but he kept his eyes on Bonnie, avoiding Chris.  Chris was like poison; no matter how many times he dodged it, he will always come back for more and hope the dose will be his last.  He knew then he was going to lose but he will always come back to him.

 

“Shh, Lizzie is up next,” Maureen said. 

 

“Well, excuse me, Doll Baby.  Hey, El, you didn’t tell me Maureen became a young woman,” He teased.

 

“Don’t call me Doll Baby, Uncle Chris.” Maureen hid the blush forming on her cheeks.

 

Elliot rolled his eyes.  He had to charm his own daughter too. 

 

Before he could say another word, the song began.  A group of little seven year olds came onto the stage.  Lizzie, in all white and a crown on her head, was in the front row.  She waved at her extended family. 

 

Elliot waved back.  He was proud of his youngest daughter.  He may not like the cost of the costume but he would do it again in a heartbeat.  He saw Lizzie perform a little dance, a mixture of tap and ballet.

 

He wrapped his arm around Kathy while she took pictures.  This should be what he wanted.  He has a wife, four amazing children, and a supportive twin brother sitting next to him.  It wasn’t dysfunctional.  This was as close as he will come to peace and normality. 

 

Elliot jerked a bit when Chris put his arm behind his chair.  His fingers ever so often brushed against his neck or caress down his back.  Elliot exhaled, keeping himself from pushing Chris away or pulling him closer.  All he could do was watch his daughter perform.

 

“Your daughter has some skills,” he whispered upon his ear.

 

Elliot shivered.  The tone of his voice was like fine wine, every syllabus made him crave it more.

 

“She got it from Kathy.”

 

“And you.”

 

Elliot chuckled.

 

“I’m no dancer, but you are.  Maybe she got from you.”

 

Chris smirked, the kind that was sensual, up to know good.  His fingers caressed one spot of Elliot’s neck that made him purr like a cat and the fine hair on his neck stand.  The hot breath escape from his parted lips, making Elliot’s cock hard. 

 

Elliot sighed.

 

“I know I have some moves.  You wanna see?” He asked.

 

Elliot kept his eyes on the dancers while he moved his neck uncomfortably.

 

“Come on, El, you won’t be disappointed.  You…might,” He removed his hand and trailed it down his inner thigh.  One squeeze and Elliot released a moan. 

 

Kathy stared at him, questioning him with her eyes.

 

“I’m just tired, Kath.  A bit sleepily actually.” The lie flowed right out of his mouth as if it was nothing.  Chris was beginning to rub off on him.  Perhaps Elliot had it in him the whole entire time and it took Keller to unleash it.

 

Kathy shook her head and turned to the stage.

 

“We have one more hour of this, Elliot.  Can you wait?”

 

“Yea, I can wait.”

 

“Good.” Elliot hated the tone of her voice.  The cold, harsh and directly to the point: that was one part of her Elliot tried to avoid.

 

He looked at the stage and saw the kids dancing in unison, as best they could. 

 

“She’s a bitch.”

 

Elliot narrowed his eyes.

 

“Shut up—”Elliot tensed as Chris massaged his inner thigh.  He bit his lip, keeping the moan within his mouth.

 

“I would never do that to you.  I have other ways to keep you quiet.” His voice dripped with sensuality that kept Stabler on his toes.

 

Elliot’s eyes travel around the auditorium. His heart quickened in pace, hoping no one saw their interaction.  It scared the living shit out of him if someone spotted them. The look of disgust from the numerous people would cause a tear in his personhood and self.

 

“People can see us,” he hissed, looking directly at him.

 

“Let them,” he said seductively, “It would be an easy way for your wife to know about us—”

 

Elliot stood from the chair and left the auditorium.  He ignored the puzzled look on Kathy’s face. He had to get away from Chris before he risk everything.  Once he was outside, he ran to the nearest men restroom and stared at himself in the mirror. 

 

 _What if Kathy and Bonnie saw us? What if anyone saw us? Damnit Chris!_ He thought while his hands gripped the sink, trembling.  He was always careful.  He always covered his steps but it seem like Chris wanted to get caught, the smug bastard.

 

He looked at the sink before he felt _him_ standing from behind.  Somehow Elliot loses control of his entire body and all the sensation from the minutes before came back like a cool breeze.  Just one touch and Elliot knew he was in Chris’ hands. 

 

“Look, Elliot, I’m an exhibitionist and I got—”

 

“So you’re apologizing?” Elliot interrupted him.

 

Chris smiled.  He massaged his shoulders until his caressed the thickness of Elliot’s neck.  It was too easy.

 

“You can think of that way, but I have something else in mind.” He gripped the back of his neck and tilted Elliot’s head backwards.  He kissed the tip of his noise before making his way down to his lips.  Quick and to the point, it lasted a second.  Chris kissed him again but made it longer, adding the tip of his tongue, going across his parted lips.  He released them, letting it linger before he kissed Elliot one more time, with ignited heat and passion.

 

Elliot didn’t know what came over him as he returned the kiss, claiming Keller as his own.  He followed his hunger, pushing Chris to the nearest stall. The only sound made between them was the smacking of lips and rippling of their clothing. 

 

Elliot looked at a naked Chris, feeling his own arousal consuming him.  His eyes lingered at the red, swollen lips to the strong, muscular abs which he had the pleasure to taste on many occasions.  His eyes stopped at his pulsing cock, lying against his stomach.  He felt Chris hypnotic stare, daring him, longing for him to take him.  He licked his tongue across his lips.

 

His body wanted it. 

 

There was no time for lube or even precaution, the heat on his leaking cock, felt too damn good to push away.  He sat on the toilet, waiting for Chris to make the next move.  It felt like hours, staring at him, wanting so bad to fuck him.  He watched as Chris straddle his lap, slowly lowing himself on Elliot’s cock.

 

He hissed, eyes closed as he felt Chris’ heat engulfing his hard dick.  He gripped his narrow hips, feeling him gripping his cock.  He heard groans escaping from his brother’s lips.  He knew it sting inside, but Chris keep riding his cock.  He hit his core each time as his moans continued to flow through his ears.  Elliot hit his head against the wall, feeling his cock thrust inside Chris’ hot entrances, rocking his hips until Elliot couldn’t see straight.

 

Elliot arched his back, feet digging into the floor.  Chris increased his pace, grounding his ass unto his brother’s cock. He threw his head back, exposing his neck for Elliot to suck and nibble interchangeably. 

 

They should go back to the auditorium but Elliot didn’t want to leave.  He needed this release.  He may have his wife but she wasn’t what he craved during those nights.  He wanted callous hands rubbing down his back.  He wanted to feel stubby hair along his jawline, not hairless face kissing him down his spine.  Chris completed him on different levels and the growing moans showed it. He gripped the back of Chris’ head and kissed him deeply, passionately, feeling the flavors that make up his brother and lover.

 

Soon Elliot tensed.  His hand kept stroking Chris’ cock as a loud growl left his mouth. He shivered and rested his back on the wall.  Chris came a few seconds later and collapsed on Elliot’s chest. He rested his head in the crock of Elliot’s neck and didn’t move.  They remained still for a while, allowing the silence to consume them. 

 

Elliot rubbed his back slowly.  When the high is over, reality sets in and Elliot hoped that he could ignore it.  But he knew he had to face it eventually.  He wanted the life he built with Kathy and the love he craved from Chris.  In his own mind, he could have both but keeping them apart despite it being difficult.  Elliot chuckled softly.  Reality was a pain in the ass. 

 

He felt Chris leaving his lap.

 

“Are you…” Elliot raised his head.

 

“I’m okay, swore, but okay.  You?” Chris asked.

 

“Yea.” Chris helped him up. 

 

They were so much alike and it scared Elliot.  They were like a splitting image of one another, easy to fool anyone.  His fingers brushed against Chris’ chest.  He held his hand there, allowing Elliot to feel his heartbeat.  At least he knew which one of them was the soft romantic. 

 

“We should go before someone comes looking for us.” Elliot pulled away. He gathered his clothing.  He could feel the hurt radiating from Chris but he will get over it.  They will eventually move on and count the interaction as forgiveness of their argument.  It always worked out, no matter what happens.

 

Elliot and Chris returned to the auditorium.  The lights were bright in the whole room as several people were standing, talking among themselves.  Elliot guessed it was intermission which meant they didn’t miss much.  Elliot saw Kathy and Bonnie talking. Each woman laughed at each other joke.  He wrapped his arms around Kathy as she faced him.  He was glad she didn’t question his disappearances.  Unfortunately, Bonnie wasn’t as fooled. 

 

“Where were you two? You missed Elizabeth dancing to the “Eye of the Tiger.” She was so great in that performance.  Kathy, Elliot, you two should be proud.”

 

Elliot brushed while he bit his tongue. 

 

“Thank you.  I guess Liz have the dancing bug.”

 

“You were a dancer?” Bonnie asked.

 

Kathy nodded.

 

“I was accepted to Juilliard until…”

 

“El knocked you up,” Chris joked.

 

“Chris!” Bonnie nudged him with her elbow.

 

Chris shrugged.

 

“Well that and I couldn’t afford the tuition.” Kathy smiled.

 

Elliot knew she wanted to smack him in the face.  Kathy was so posed and patient.  He wondered how long would it last.

 

Soon the lights deemed and they went back to their respectable seats. The next act started and Elliot had another opportunity to watch his daughter dance.  Every so often he glanced at Chris.  Sometimes their eyes will meet and the same heat and passion filled his veins.  His heart beat quicken, palms became wet.  Chris would smile while Elliot turned away.  No one ever made him feel that way, as if he was a teen again.  Chris does something to him and he knew he couldn’t push him away.  Sin or not, he wanted Chris and his life with Kathy.  Why can’t he have both?

 

When the performance ended, Bonnie invited them for a late dinner. If Chris said it, Kathy would quickly reject the invitation.  She may not show it but she was still angry with Chris about his comment.  Elliot was pissed but not as much as Kathy.  He apologized for ruining her life.  What else can he do? 

 

They ate dinner at a local small, hole in a wall restaurant which was family orientated.  Within thirty minutes in the restaurant, the conversation changed from the performance to the latest baseball game.  Bets were placed and an intense argument arose between Elliot and Bonnie on who will win the next tournament.  Kathy and Maureen laughed while Chris sat there, arms folded, an amused smile on his face.  Kathleen and their twins were in their own world.

 

Soon Bonnie held up her hands in defeat, leaving Elliot smiling boyishly.  If he win, he will spend it on the latest plasma TV he always wanted.  He hoped IAB doesn’t find out. 

 

Bonnie cleared her throat before she took Chris hand into her own.

 

Elliot swallowed a lump forming in the back of his throat. 

 

“We have an announcement to make.”

 

He tried to read Chris’ face but he remained emotionless, still, as if he wanted to remain that way.  Elliot gave up and decided to give his undivided attention to them.

 

“We decided to tell you guys first since you are basically the only family Chris got.  Plus, you guys mean a lot to us,” Bonnie looked at Chris who nodded for her to continue, “You know Chris and I had a rough start but we believe we are heading to a new direction.  That being said…we are getting married, again.”

 

“Really?” Maureen said, astonished. 

 

Bonnie nodded as she couldn’t help but smile.

 

“A wedding? Cool!” Lizze squealed before asking a million questions about the upcoming wedding.

 

Kathy gave her congratulation while Elliot remained frozen. 

 

 _Married…again?_ Elliot thought as his eyes landed on Chris. 

 

Chris shrugged. A smile appeared on his face, as if to mock Elliot. 

 

He balled his hand into a fist underneath the table.  He could feel his brain burn to ashes and hear the boiling of his blood.  Chris, his Chris was about to marry, again.  He was his, the most important thing in his life.  There was no way in hell he was going to lose him. 

 

Elliot excused himself from the table.  Chris was about to join him but one dirty glare from him made Chris sat back down.  Elliot exited the building and stood at the side, away from the prying eyes of the customers.  He ran his hands thought his chopped cut hair and sighed. 

 

What can he do?  What the fuck will he do?  He had to stop the wedding! He can’t let Bonnie have Chris, his Chris, the only person who can ever love him. 

 

Before he could think straight, he punched the wall several times. His knuckles busted and the soreness ran from his thunderous hands to the hardness of his eyes.  He gritted his teeth as the numbness crowded his brain. He can’t let it happen.  He can’t see Chris with another person, let alone a former lover. 

 

He continued to hit the brick, cold wall until his anger melted away.  His head buzzed and felt the world spin around him. 

 

Elliot held the wall, regaining his balance.  He took a deep breath, hearing his heart return to a regular pace.  He looked to the sky.  He wished there was a way to feel happy for Chris but he just couldn’t.  He sighed and collected himself. He might as well face reality.

 

He entered the restaurant.  He took his place beside Kathy, listening to all the details of the wedding.  Chris looked at him, concern written on his usually reserved face.  Elliot didn’t meet his eyes.  All he could do is stared at his half eaten food.  Suddenly he wasn’t hungry anymore.

 

“Daddy, what happened to your hand?” Dickie asked.

 

Kathy looked at his hands and grasped.

 

“Elliot, what happened? Did you get into a fi…?”

 

Elliot ignored Kathy and the questions coming from Bonnie’s mouth.  He also ignored the bloodstain on his knuckles and the sting from his opened wounds.  He simply remained quiet, in his own world.

 

Chris was getting married.  Where did he fit in his life, now?


	4. Chapter IV

**PREVIOUSLY**   
_“Elliot, what happened? Did you get into a fi…?”_

_Elliot ignored Kathy and the questions coming from Bonnie’s mouth. He also ignored the bloodstain on his knuckles and the sting from his opened wounds. He simply remained quiet, in his own world._

_Chris was getting married. Where did he fit in his life, now?_

\---

Elliot stopped talking to Chris. It wasn’t a decision that happened suddenly. It happened unexpectedly, with no reflection or thought. It was better that way, or so he thought.

The first week, everything was normal. Elliot went to work and enjoyed his wife and kids company. No weekly “interruptions” from Chris or “staying late from work,” just normal activities. Elliot missed Chris but pushed those emotions away. It was better that way. 

Then it became two weeks, and slowly Elliot started to feel himself slip. The withdrawal came, and he began to lose himself.

A month later and Elliot was in a haze. Intoxicated by his own thoughts as each day became a blur. The cases or his family couldn’t distract him from the realization. 

Chris was getting married.

The more he thought about it, the more it sank in. 

This feeling of hurt was foreign to him. He hadn't felt emotionally lost even when Kathy threatened to leave him again. Of course, he knew Kathy would come back to him, like always. They have children, and she still loved him. With Chris, it was different. Their relationship is dark and twisted. 

And he craved it. 

Elliot pushed his paperwork away and went to the nearest men's restroom. He turned on the water and splash some onto his face. He stared at his reflection, watching the tiny droplets fell into the sink. 

_What’s happening to me?_ Elliot thought. 

He should feel happy for his brother. Chris was turning his life around. Finally settling down and finally being faithful to Bonnie. It was what everyone wanted. He should want it for Chris since he wanted to end their relationship. This was his chance, presented to him on a silver platter.

Elliot gripped the sink. His hands trembled. 

He should be enough for Chris. The only one who could make him come with just a touch. The only one who held his secrets and Chris has a lot of secrets...especially those boys.

"This is sick," Elliot mumbled.

"What's sick?" Munch asked, joining him near the sink.

Elliot covered his surprised expression by shaking his head.

"Nothing. Just thinking."

"Hmm." Munch washed his hands. "All you've been doing is thinking." He grabbed a paper towel to dry his hands. When he was done, he moved closer to Elliot and whispered, "Don't tell anyone this, but Cragen is worried about you."

"How so?" Elliot asked as his heartbeats quickened.

"Considering to transfer you out of SVU."

Elliot froze. 

"Based on the evaluations."?

"No. Distraction. If there is something wrong at home..."

"Nothing wrong at home." Elliot roughly pushed passed Munch, making his way to the door.

"Is it about your brother. I mean, it's not every day you found out your brother is--"

"Thanks for the heads up, Munch," Elliot said as he headed out the restroom. 

He tried to stay calm, but couldn’t. Elliot tried to keep his personal and professional life separate. Never talk about his family at work and never talk about work at home. Of course, he spoke to Chris about work since he was the only person he trusted. Without Chris, there was no outlet and it showed. 

He didn’t want to lose this job because of Chris. He worked too hard to become a Senior Detective, sacrificing everything to make it. Most detectives burn out in two years, never making it that far. Elliot was pushing twelve, trying not to reach his breaking point. He saw what happen to them and didn’t want to repeat it.

But Chris wasn’t helping it. He was going to be the cause of it.

Elliot sat at his desk and start working on his case file. Olivia raised her head, staring at him, concern. Elliot smiled, hoping she will drop what she's thinking. As much as he loved Olivia, today wasn’t the day for talking. 

Olivia must have took the hint as she sighed and went back to her files. Elliot sighed in relief mentally. He wished he could kill his brother.

Beat the living shit out of him and fuck his brains out.

Elliot knew this thing between them had to end before he loses everything. So he took a deep breath and faced the truth: **_Chris was getting married._**

There was nothing he could do about it. Just support his brother. The older brother who will always have his little brother’s back. No matter the sin or wrongdoing.

And not act like a jealous, scorned lover who wanted to tear them apart. He wanted Chris to be happy. To start a new, clean life. To be the man that Elliot always wanted him to be.

At the same time, he wanted Chris to need him. To have Chris underneath him, panting as Elliot entered him slowly, almost painfully. The only lover, partner, and brother he should ever need.

_This has to end._

But he doesn't want it to end.

He wanted the sickness to continue until it killed him.

Elliot sighed. This was going to be a long day.

\---

"So you're done avoiding, Stabler?" Chris asked as if he was expecting Elliot to call him. 

After some time to think, Elliot decided to make peace with Chris. To change their relationship to something brotherly. 

And it wasn't easy.

Elliot waited until everyone was asleep to finally call his brother. It took him another two weeks to call Chris. With work and arguments with Kathy, Chris wasn’t on the top of his “To-Do” list. When he could have a minute to reflect, he made time for Chris. 

Just hearing Chris’ voice was enough to arouse him. He missed him. He longed to touch him, to feel his hot breath on his skin as they fucked on tangled sheets. But he had to be realistic. They could never go back to those days.

But he could only dream, right?

Elliot sat in the dark living room. "You started it, little brother.” Elliot should have ended it like that and then tell him how much he feels about Chris getting married to Bonnie. But the scorned lover in him took control of his thoughts. “So how long before you cheat on Bonnie again? I’ll give it a month before someone with nice tits grab your attention? Or how about a nice dick this time?"

Chris laughed.

Elliot shivered, as he gripped the cell phone, waiting for his comeback. 

Chris cleared his throat, the lowered, husky tone instantly made him uncomfortably hard. 

"You sound jealous. Don't worry, baby, no one will replace you. I will always be your little whore that you see every night. But, this time, I will charge for my services. " 

_Son of a bitch_. Elliot knew this was a game, to make him feel guilty. He called to rebuild their relationship, not continuing the sexual aspect. 

"Stop it! That’s why I didn’t call you! I know you will start this shit.”

“Then why are you calling? Did you call in brotherly concerned or a hookup? Or both.”

Elliot paused.

“I think it’s both. Yes, it’s both.”

“Chris!” Elliot hissed, gripping the phone until his knuckles turned white. “I’m calling because I'm concerned.”

“Is that right?”

“Yea because I know damn well you won't be faithful to Bonnie. You are marrying her because you want to get back at me, huh? You want a life too?" Elliot didn’t expect their conversation to get this heated. Well, on his side it was heated. As for Chris, he took it in stride. He was the most calm between them, unbothered by Elliot’s reaction. 

"What's it to you? You were never faithful to Kathy. There were me and that little trick you had a drunken one night stand with. What was his name? I think his name was Beecher. I believe it was Tobias Beecher, the lawyer.”

Elliot gritted his teeth. _That bastard._ He wanted to forget that night. He almost succeeded.

He should have never told Chris. 

“At least I'm honest." 

“Never. Bring. It. Up. AGAIN! And I’ll make sure you will _regret it_.” Elliot warned, keeping his voice down. 

Chris laughed, ignoring the threat. “Face it El, you’re jealous” Then, in an instant, he became serious, almost remorseful, “I can understand since I had to play the whore while you went back to your family. And I played the role _too_ well. Maybe, for once, I want a family. To have someone waiting for me after I’m done fucking you. Like, we can sin together.”

Elliot’s blood boiled.

He hated him. 

And loved him.

And wanted him.

So much that it hurts. 

His voice, his body....everything, calling for Elliot. 

Chris knew it. Elliot knew it, too. But Elliot didn’t want it to happen. Why could everything be simple for them?

"It's wrong," His voice trembled.

"Too bad. You just have to accept the fact I'm getting married. But, to make you feel better, Bonnie cannot make me come as hard as you."

"Fuck you."

"I'll see tomorrow night. Bonnie will be over her sister’s house for the weekend. Just me and you, alone, like before.”

“Chris…” 

“Good night, Elliot."Then he hung.

“Chris!” Fuming with rage, Elliot threw the phone against the wall.

He wanted to say so much more but couldn't. Chris used his weakness as an advantage and exploited it. That pissed him off more as the rage turned into self-pity.

Part of Elliot wanted to stay away from him, never speak to him again. To pretend Chris never existed. But he wanted to hear him, to make their relationship _normal_. 

Elliot couldn’t. He was in it too deep. 

What made it worse, he will see Chris tomorrow, as if nothing happen. He was going to prove him right, again. 

Like a drug, Elliot needed Chris. 

Elliot hunched over and covered his face with his hands. He sighed in frustration, mentally and sexually. _This will never end_.

And deep down inside, Elliot knew he didn't want it to end. He wanted to continue the ride, no matter how wrong and dangerous it turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I decided to update this story after rereading it. I hope to update this story once a week until it's finished. 
> 
> Originally, I was almost done with the story. I had about three chapters left until my USB drive broke. I didn't want to write it from scratch (because didn't resave it anywhere else) and lost inspiration; I stopped writing it. So from chapter four and onward, a revisited version of the old chapters not uploaded. 
> 
> I think that's about it. I want you guys to enjoy the story. Hopefully, it will live up to your expectations.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit different for me. I know it have been done before but I wanted to expanded it a little bit. I hope you enjoy this piece. Encouragement and suggestions are welcomed.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I don't own Chris Keller and Elliot Stabler. They belong to their respectable owners while I'm borrowing them for a bit.


End file.
